Trick-or-Treat: cutest of all felonies

Trick-or-treat is basically an extortion racket run by a mafia of 4-year-old mermaids, 11-year-old mummies, 8-year-old witches, and other baby-faced monsters.

Oh, you don’t see it that way huh?

Do they not come to our doors shoving bags at us while telling us ‘give us candy or else,’ through their adorable, gap-filled grins?

You see, the elements of extortion, as defined by most states, are pretty simple and straightforward: you have the gaining of property (Sweet Tarts, Twix, and candy corn) by force or threat (or trick).

But, I must admit that it is the cutest of all felonies. And I plan on giving in to their threats this year and all foreseeable years to come.

I also plan on giving in another way this Halloween, and I am hopeful that many of you will as well.

Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF is a wonderful program that began 67 years ago to help kids across the world. This year funds raised through Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF will support UNICEF’s emergency relief work for children affected by recent disasters, many of which took place right here in America.

Since its start, the program has raised over $175 million and has helped save and improve children’s lives around the world through immunization, education, health care, nutrition, safe water and sanitation, emergency relief, and more.

And that’s just one organization devoted to helping children. There are many other reputable charities and programs (according to charity watch) that are devoted to helping children, such as the Children’s Health Fund and the Ronald McDonald House Charities.

Halloween is as much (if not more) about bringing happiness and joy to children as it is about treats, parties, and costumes. Consider a donation to one or more of these organizations this Halloween — or else (just kidding).

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