Have you heard of Extra Help? If your parents are struggling to pay their bills, you'll want to put this on their radar.

This Social Security program is for Medicare beneficiaries who have limited resources. It helps pay for premiums, deductibles and medication, explains Oscar Garcia, a public-affairs specialist with the Social Security Administration, at the website of the San Antonio Express-News.

He responds to a question about a mother on Medicare:

To qualify for the extra help, she must be receiving Medicare and have income limited to $16,755 for an individual or $22,695 for a married couple living together.

Even if her annual income is higher, she still may be able to get some help …. Some examples where income may be higher include if she, and her husband if married, support other family members who live with them. Plus, if they have earnings from work.

The help is worth about $4,000 a year, Garcia says. You can apply for Extra Help here.

Older people's doctors don't always ask the questions geriatric-medicine experts think they should, says Mark Miller, a columnist with Reuters news service, reporting on a survey from the John A. Hartford Foundation.

For example, when's the last time your parents' doctor reviewed their medicines with them? A third of survey respondents said they hadn't had such a review in the last year. And most hadn't been asked about their mood or falling, Miller says.

But how are you supposed to know what ought to be covered during a doctor visit? Miller suggests starting with going over preventive-care checklists from the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality. The checklist for men is here and for women is here. Also, he points out, the National Council on Aging offers free online and in-person workshops for people with chronic diseases.

But also, don't forget about simply talking to the doctor. Miller writes:

Many seniors find it difficult to take a more assertive role, says Richard Birkel, senior vice president for healthy aging at the National Council on Aging (NCOA).

"The current generation didn't grow up with a tradition where they were expected to take active role," he says. "It's up to you to shape your office visit."

"Have a list of questions and goals in mind," he adds. "You can't just go in and expect your doctor to miraculously scan you and figure out what is going on in your life."

When I step in to meet a new home care patient and see military medals in a shadow box, I know there's a story hidden between the stripes and stars.

This time it was "Albert" and he had recently relocated to senior retirement condos after a fall at home.  He had maintained his independence at home alone until 88 and was adjusting to a new environment with built in neighbors, dining room meals and a part time caregiver.  During my third visit, I asked him if he had enlisted before Pearl Harbor and he said no.  He married his sweetheart at 18.  She became pregnant with their first child and then the war started.  Because he had a wife and child on the way, he wasn't drafted.  But every time he went to town, someone would ask, "Why aren't you fighting?  Something wrong with your health?"  The pressure became too great and he enlisted.

He was on a battleship and he talked about a day when over 300 planes attempted to crash into their ship to destroy it and they all slept on deck without going to their bunks at all.  The ammo casings piled up almost waist high on deck and nerves were ragged.  Sometimes the chaplain turned on the radio for the men and one day while they were parked next to another ship for refueling, they heard Tokyo Rose report their ship as badly damaged because it had been seen parked next to another.  They were glad to be able to prove her wrong.

I mull over these scenes, pages of history books coming alive and I look at my own two sons.  I see a generation gap and I promise myself to arrange a meeting between 18 and 88 before those stories are forgotten.



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